{"id":1882,"date":"2019-02-27T10:30:16","date_gmt":"2019-02-27T10:30:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/?p=1882"},"modified":"2025-10-09T13:29:56","modified_gmt":"2025-10-09T12:29:56","slug":"matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/2019\/02\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\/","title":{"rendered":"Matching mentors and mentees \u2014 get tough!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"noborder alignright wp-image-1890 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Matching-mentors-and-mentees-Spectrum-of-approaches-300x208.jpg\" alt=\"Matching mentors and mentees, Spectrum of approaches\" width=\"300\" height=\"208\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Matching-mentors-and-mentees-Spectrum-of-approaches-300x208.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Matching-mentors-and-mentees-Spectrum-of-approaches-768x531.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Matching-mentors-and-mentees-Spectrum-of-approaches-434x300.jpg 434w, https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Matching-mentors-and-mentees-Spectrum-of-approaches.jpg 876w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>There are a number of factors to consider when matching mentors and mentees in a programme.\u00a0Matching can get complicated at times when stakeholders in the scheme have very clear views of who the mentoring pairs should be. Matching criteria need to be in alignment with the purpose\/business objective for the programme. If a senior leader wants to choose their own prot\u00e9g\u00e9e to mentor, you may need to be tough and reinforce your matching criteria. So make sure you are clear what they are!<!--more--><\/p>\n<h2>The criteria for matching mentors and mentees<\/h2>\n<p>Matching is one of the core steps of <a href=\"\/articles\/2018\/10\/mentoring-programme-design-8-key-steps\/\">developing a mentoring programme<\/a>. These are some of the aspects, which you want to consider when matching:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Programme purpose or objectives \u2014 is this for talent, knowledge management, onboarding, gender, graduate development etc<\/li>\n<li>The criteria for matching (such as gender, diversity, culture, knowledge, experience, location, interests, tenure, what mentees \u201cneed\u201d and what mentors \u201coffer\u201d etc)<\/li>\n<li>The balance between similarity and difference (i.e. the stretch for learning in the relationship)<\/li>\n<li>How much choice will you allow the mentors and mentees?<\/li>\n<li>The rapport between the mentor and mentee<\/li>\n<li>Whether or not the mentor should be a role model? Or whether you are utilising peer or <a href=\"\/articles\/2017\/01\/tech-savvy-and-lazy-how-to-mentor-millennials\/\">reverse mentoring<\/a> in your programme?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>The most effective mentor and mentee matching<\/h2>\n<p>The most successful mentor and mentee matching in my experience of <a href=\"\/mentoring\/mentoring-programme-design.html\">mentoring programme design<\/a> occurs when there is:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A similar value and belief structure between mentor\/mentee<\/li>\n<li>Rapid development of trust and rapport*<\/li>\n<li>Sufficient self-disclosure*<\/li>\n<li>A clear business or developmental objective(s) for the relationship<\/li>\n<li>Not too big a \u201cgap\u201d in terms of seniority<\/li>\n<li>Consideration of experience as being more important than age<\/li>\n<li>Not too much similarity, as this will not aid learning.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>* These aspects develop more quickly with <a href=\"\/learning\/coaching-and-mentoring-webinars.html\">robust briefing or training<\/a> of the mentors and mentees.<\/p>\n<h2>Process for matching mentors and mentees<\/h2>\n<p>The process for matching in mentoring can involve identifying selection criteria and assigning pairs or allowing self-selection for the mentoring pair. Allow some choice if possible, as the most successful mentor and mentee matching occurs in mentoring relationships where both parties felt they had some choice in their partner. This applies even if this is just the mentor or mentee having the opportunity to say \u201cno\u201d to their suggested mentoring match. However, it is always very important that if either mentor or mentee in a mentoring relationship is uncomfortable with the way the relationship is going, that support is available and a \u201cno fault\u201d separation clause can be invoked.<\/p>\n<p>I have identified three types of process for matching in mentoring with my colleague <a href=\"\/about-us\/consultants.html#PaulStokes\">Paul Stokes<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Laissez faire <\/strong>\u2013 where there is an informal choice by the mentors and mentees which is just formalized by the programme manager e.g. can be through the use of a mentoring database that participants can access or a \u201cspeed dating\u201d approach<\/li>\n<li><strong>Facilitative approach\u00a0<\/strong>\u2013 where there is a formal mentor\/mentee decision making process which is supported by the programme manager e.g. they can offer 2 or 3 tentative matches to the mentors and mentees to choose from<\/li>\n<li><strong>Interventionist approach\u00a0<\/strong>\u2013 where the programme manager makes the match and it is controlled and carried out by them.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2>Which process for matching in mentoring?<\/h2>\n<h3>Smaller programmes<\/h3>\n<p>For small programmes, we tend to use \u201cintuition\u201d based method following an interventionist approach. So making matches using application forms designed for the programme and personal assessment of the compatibility of the mentor and mentee. This is particularly successful where we have personal knowledge of the mentors and mentees through recruitment, selection and training. Some programme managers will interview participants alongside using application forms, but this can be a very time intensive process. Use our <a href=\"\/articles\/2019\/01\/mentoring-needs-programme-management\/\">virtual programme management<\/a>\u00a0if you need help with this.<\/p>\n<h3>Larger programmes \u2013 use mentor matching software<\/h3>\n<p>In larger schemes \u2014 25 pairs plus, the programme manager has to use the best approach they can with the resources at their disposal. We have developed a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/2023\/11\/across-organisational-mentor-mentee-matching-in-the-humanitarian-sector\/#bespoke-matching\">hybrid bespoke mentoring matching process<\/a> that scales well (and remains cost effective) to hundreds of participants. This maintains the successful human touch even for larger programmes.<\/p>\n<p>Matching on even larger scales, or on a rolling basis, can involve using specialised mentor matching software or a specially designed database. Read our blog on <a href=\"\/articles\/2018\/10\/mentoring-technology-check-youre-ready\/\">Mentoring Technology<\/a>, to see if you are ready to invest in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sfgmentornet.com\/features-and-benefits-of-mentornet\/?CoachMentoringReferral\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">mentor matching software<\/a>?<\/p>\n<h2>So 4 top tips for matching\u00a0mentors and mentees<\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li>Give mentors and mentees a say in the match<\/li>\n<li>Be clear on matching criteria so you are not open to abuse by mentors, mentees or senior stakeholders<\/li>\n<li>Do regular check-ins to ensure the rapport is developing<\/li>\n<li>Have a no-fault separation clause that everyone is aware of. You may not need to use it, but it is a great safety net!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>And do come back and <a href=\"#I-want-to-know-more\">have a chat<\/a>\u00a0if you need some help.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are a number of factors to consider when matching mentors and mentees in a programme.\u00a0Matching can get complicated at times when stakeholders in the scheme have very clear views of who the mentoring pairs should be. Matching criteria need &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/2019\/02\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1890,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pmpro_default_level":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[56,73,72],"class_list":["post-1882","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mentoring","tag-matching","tag-mentee","tag-mentor","pmpro-has-access"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Matching mentors and mentees \u2014 get tough! - Coach Mentoring Ltd.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/2019\/02\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Matching mentors and mentees \u2014 get tough! - Coach Mentoring Ltd.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There are a number of factors to consider when matching mentors and mentees in a programme.\u00a0Matching can get complicated at times when stakeholders in the scheme have very clear views of who the mentoring pairs should be. Matching criteria need &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/2019\/02\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Coach Mentoring Ltd.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-02-27T10:30:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-10-09T12:29:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Matching-mentors-and-mentees-Spectrum-of-approaches.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"876\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"606\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Lis Merrick\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@coach_mentoring\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@coach_mentoring\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Lis Merrick\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\\\/articles\\\/2019\\\/02\\\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\\\/articles\\\/2019\\\/02\\\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Lis Merrick\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\\\/articles\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/389e6a0e31f970a45d73a41398fd014d\"},\"headline\":\"Matching mentors and mentees \u2014 get tough!\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-02-27T10:30:16+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-10-09T12:29:56+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\\\/articles\\\/2019\\\/02\\\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":807,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\\\/articles\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\\\/articles\\\/2019\\\/02\\\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\\\/articles\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/02\\\/Matching-mentors-and-mentees-Spectrum-of-approaches.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Matching\",\"Mentee\",\"Mentor\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Mentoring\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\\\/articles\\\/2019\\\/02\\\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\\\/articles\\\/2019\\\/02\\\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\\\/articles\\\/2019\\\/02\\\/matching-mentors-and-mentees-get-tough\\\/\",\"name\":\"Matching mentors and mentees \u2014 get tough! 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