{"id":2788,"date":"2020-05-04T10:07:01","date_gmt":"2020-05-04T09:07:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/?p=2788"},"modified":"2020-05-14T10:15:11","modified_gmt":"2020-05-14T09:15:11","slug":"finding-my-resilience-to-support-my-well-being-during-lockdown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/2020\/05\/finding-my-resilience-to-support-my-well-being-during-lockdown\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding my resilience to support my well-being during lockdown"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"WhereResilience is something I don\u2019t usually lack\u2014so why am I feeling anxiety and worry?\u00a0The unprecedented lockdown conditions and uncertainly of what lies ahead after these times, have caused many of us to feel anxiety and worry\u2014and quite rightly so. There are no predetermined rules for the intensity of the emotions we might feel; we don\u2019t need to be preforming a particular role, or be in a specific working environment to experience them.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I consider myself to be a resilient person; to be grounded; focused on dealing with what\u2019s in front of me; not getting anxious or worrying about those things I\u2019m not able to do anything about; very much focusing on my \u2018circle of influence\u2019 rather than being bogged down in a \u2018circle of concern\u2019. But the past few weeks have seen me experience a rollercoaster of emotions, completely at odds with my \u2018normal\u2019 self.<\/p>\n

When I\u2019ve been back into a more rational state, I\u2019ve tried to make sense of what\u2019s been happening to me; why I\u2019ve been feeling this way and how can I rebuild my resilience. I\u2019ve tried to think if there\u2019s ever been a time in my life when I\u2019ve also felt these emotions; ideas to help me manage myself and think of some coping strategies. I think if you can acknowledge and recognise how and why you\u2019re experiencing certain emotions, you can begin to look for ways to take care of yourself and develop the capacity to cope with how you\u2019re feeling.<\/p>\n

The Five Stages of Loss<\/h2>\n

In my lifetime there hasn\u2019t been a time or event that has been so totally overwhelming, or so far reaching on such a global scale, as this pandemic lockdown. But there has been a time for me when my \u2018normal resilience\u2019 ceased to be. A time I was faced with real uncertainty in terms of what my physical future might look like. I had a real sense of loss and a fear about what my new \u2018normal\u2019 might look and feel like; of not being in control; being angry at what had been taken away from me and the changes that I needed to make to be able to live my life. It took me some time to be able to think rationally about what does \u2018normal\u2019 mean and to accept that \u2018This Is<\/strong>\u2019 my new \u2018normal\u2019.<\/p>\n

\"GriefMy reflection has led me to recognise that the feelings and experience of that time in my life very much mirror those emotions I\u2019m having in the current climate of uncertainty. At that time I was introduced to the Five Stages of Loss (from Kubler-Ross and Kessler\u2019s book \u201cOn Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss<\/a>\u201d), which gave me a means to explain how and why I was feeling this way. As it did then, this model has helped me to make sense of what I have, and at times am still, experiencing in this current climate.<\/p>\n

You might not necessarily experience these stages in either a linear or cyclical way; it is possible, as I have found, to move backwards, forwards and to jump stages. The stages may come and go \u2014 and may even repeat themselves.<\/p>\n

Using the Stages of Loss has helped me to realise that I am grieving for my loss of my \u2018normal\u2019 and that it\u2019s ok to be feeling these emotions.<\/p>\n

Focusing on Resilience as part of my well-being<\/h2>\n

There are a number of other ideas to support our well-being<\/a> especially during the pandemic lockdown. But being able to put a name and explanation to what I\u2019m feeling and experiencing has enabled me to think of ways to recover my resilience and restore some of my toughness.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve looked at this from three perspectives:\"Resilience:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Vitality<\/b> is about making sure that I have sufficient energy both mentally and physically to cope. It\u2019s about remembering that I\u2019m not a machine and that I need to have clear boundaries between work and personal mode. It\u2019s about managing the varying demands of my day and making time for things that I enjoy doing. And it\u2019s about rewarding myself and celebrating even the little things that I achieve.<\/li>\n
  2. Support<\/b> is about staying connected to not only provide support for others in my network of friends, family and work colleagues, but also to get the support I need whether that is social interaction or some other kind of support. It\u2019s about being non-judgemental and more forgiving of people\u2019s moods and their messages; remembering they too may be feeling unsettled or angry or some other emotion relating to their sense of loss.<\/li>\n
  3. Composure<\/b> is about recognising our emotions and managing them. It\u2019s about acknowledging that negative and positive emotions are contagious. So I\u2019m trying not to infect others with my emotions when I\u2019m feeling anxious or worrying; and also looking to model optimism, hopefulness and confidence in the future when I\u2019m feeling more positive.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And finally\u2026<\/h3>\n

    \"The<\/a>A few weeks ago a colleague included a couple of quotes from a book in her update to the team in the organisation where she is CEO. These resonated so much with me that I now have a copy of the book!<\/p>\n

    \u201cWhen the big things feel out of control, focus on what you love right under your nose.\u201d
    \n<\/em>\u201c\u2026live courageously with more kindness for yourself and for others.
    \n\u2026ask for help when you need it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cThe boy, the mole, the fox and the horse<\/a>\u201d
    \nby Charlie Mackesy<\/p>\n

    Further virtual resilience support<\/h2>\n

    The experienced team<\/a> here understand the feelings we are all encountering and are used to offering virtual support<\/a>. In fact, we have a whole series of lockdown themed webinars<\/a> in addition to our regular well-being programmes<\/a>.<\/p>\n

    So Get in Touch<\/a> if you are experiencing challenging issues affecting you or your organisation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Resilience is something I don\u2019t usually lack\u2014so why am I feeling anxiety and worry?\u00a0The unprecedented lockdown conditions and uncertainly of what lies ahead after these times, have caused many of us to feel anxiety and worry\u2014and quite rightly so. There … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1449,"featured_media":2789,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pmpro_default_level":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[200],"tags":[199,197],"class_list":["post-2788","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-development","tag-covid-19","tag-well-being","pmpro-has-access"],"yoast_head":"\nFinding my resilience to support my well-being during lockdown<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.coachmentoring.co.uk\/articles\/2020\/05\/finding-my-resilience-to-support-my-well-being-during-lockdown\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Finding my resilience to support my well-being during lockdown\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Resilience is something I don\u2019t usually lack\u2014so why am I feeling anxiety and worry?\u00a0The unprecedented lockdown conditions and uncertainly of what lies ahead after these times, have caused many of us to feel anxiety and worry\u2014and quite rightly so. 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